The Viva Experience: Part 2 Resfeber

Taking a deep breath I followed my supervisor into the room where the viva would take place.

When I started this PhD a lot of the initial talks used the analogy of the PhD experience being a "journey". I didn't really pay that much attention to this picture. But now a year down the road and with my first viva under my belt I get it. The PhD experience is a marathon of a journey with unexpected twists and turns. As I walked down the hallway towards my first viva I experience resfeber, I was ready for this part of the journey but I was anxious I'd complete it okay and I was anticipating the challenge of going through my first viva.

I was nervous there is no hiding that. I sat across from my supervisor and my internal assessor who couldn't have been more friendly, warm or supportive. And yet I was shaking and sweating. When describing the format of the viva the words "pass or fail" were uttered, I swear if I was wearing a heart rate monitor it would have flat-lined followed by tachycardia! I tried to calm myself down inside my head. Then I thought I'll take a drink, my hand was shaking so much I was worried I'd spill the water all over myself. I was a wreck. So as I took a drink, I reminded myself two things 1) I had prepared and 2) my supervisors would have suggested I do this at this stage without the confidence that I was ready.

Now I can see that that my nerves were a result of anxiety around doing a good job of representing all my hard work and the efforts that my supervisors had invested in me rather than a worry about being right or wrong. Second my nerves were anticipatory excitement: what questions would they ask?, would I know the answer?, would I be able to communicate my thoughts and ideas?, what would my internal assessor thoughts be on my original idea?

As the questions started I managed to convert my nerves into conveying my passion and excitement about my PhD project. Taking a deep breath I explained my project ideas. The questions that followed were mainly ones that I was expecting based on my evaluation of my progression report and conversations I had had with my mentors.

Slowly as time moved forwards and the answers to the questions flowed from all my reading and writing I had done to date. I noticed that my hands stopped shaking quite so much. I didn't stop sweating, though, maybe it was really warm in the room. I also noticed that I was actually quite enjoying myself. Not in a "look at me I'm so clever" way. No, more in a "I've worked really hard, I believe in this idea and I want to share it with others in the field to get their input to help me shape my idea into a feasible, efficient and interesting PhD project" way.

For those of you reading this to help them prepare, I didn't know the answer to every question and there were questions that took me a while to understand what was being asked. These were the hardest moments of the viva. I would guess that you will face similar moments. But somehow I realized that the point of these questions wasn't the same as when I was doing undergrad work. They weren't testing to see if I knew it all or if my knowledge was perfect. They were instead looking to see if I had thought through things and was able to acknowledge the limits of my knowledge to date. Also the words of my other half were ringing in my ears, "it is supposed to be challenging, if its not then what's the point!"

My colleagues (fellow PhD canidates) on hearing I was successful apart from congratulating me all wanted to hear how it was, how it went to help them prepare. So my top tips:

1) Know your PhD as it is in this moment. It isn't meant to be perfect, just the best version of where you are, what you think and plans for the future.

2) Recognize that this is a big deal and you will be nervous, but that isn't a bad thing. Being nervous can be" resfeber" which I view as positive type of nerves. Anticipating that all will go well because you are prepared for the journey and are looking forward to the adventure, but a little anxious as there will always be something that you can't plan for.

3) Trust your supervisors, seek out the advice of your mentors and those in the same department who have gone through the process already. Check with your faculty and university guidelines as to what will be expected of you.

Disclaimer: I am not an expert at viva's I have faced and passed only my initial viva, I have 3 more to go. As my journey progresses I may find that my opinion and advice changes. This is just an insight on my personal experience to date and not meant as an exhaustive preparation guide.