Read Widely

A year ago I was sitting in a supervision with my main supervisor and we got onto the subject of reading. Now anyone who is doing a PhD will know that reading is the foundation to a PhD. We read and read and read and when we are bored of reading we read more. So at the time I thought it was a funny thing for my supervisor to bring up.

Of course I would be reading loads over the next year. I already was reading loads. I am a confessed bibliophile and have been since the time I was a small child. I assumed he meant read loads of academic papers and books. Yes, that was a part of it; but the more we talked the more he pushed me and suggested that actually by reading widely he meant that, to read loads of academic writing but to read in other areas of my interest too. He reinforced that the more I read the better I would write and the more I would see, know, and learn. Now a year on I know better what he meant. Yes I read piles of paper and have re-read many of them more times than I want to share. Importantly I have learned how much I don't know and how much we don't know. Also I'm slowly shaping my own voice in how I write and how I think, picking up bits an pieces from chick lit authors to the leading researchers within my area of interest.

Recently at my public library I picked up a book. I hadn't heard of it previously I was merely struck by its title: "How I Rescued my Brain: a psychologist's remarkable recovery from stroke and trauma." now normally at the public library I'm looking for books I classify as "brain candy" light and easy reads that I can pick up right before bed and read a chapter to relax my mind and send me off to sleep. This was not that book. But recently I've been interested in mindfulness and the back of this book said that mindfulness was one of the techniques that the author used to heal himself. So I thought why not. So I checked it out.

I'm not going to review the book. What I found in this book was the story of a health care practitioners journey through diagnosis, adaption and incorporation of chronic illness into his life. Although the pathology is different from the focus of my PhD the story of chronic illness and burden of treatment rang true to things I have been reading in research and academic papers and books. In particular there were three statements near the end of the book that made me think.

1) "So each morning and evening, I set up my collection of pills on the kitchen bench, pleased that I seem to have all bases covered"

This is likely what a lot of health care practitioners hope their patients achieve. A sense of a good job well done of following medical advice and feeling better for it. Some might argue that this is when treatment burden is balanced and a patient is adhering. But I think this is only the tip of the iceberg, a good step towards incorporation of chronic illness. However, this can only be achieved when the individual believes that the pills are doing good. What happens when the pills lined up neatly and taken do not change the symptoms? Does the individual still feel the bases are covered?

2) "It sounds preposterous, but I think there's some truth to it. I've only seen my stroke as something bad that has happened to me, as something gone wrong, but now I can see it as something special."

Now here the author is talking with a meditation teacher about how to achieve the state of enlightenment, where the details of life drop away and you are unperturbed by good or bad, time becomes irrelevant and you are able to observe without judging (an oversimplification). He experienced this as a side effect of his stroke while waiting in the emergency room. He argues that having this experience then helped him in his meditation practice which then promoted healing within himself. To me this statement represents a different level of incorporation of chronic illness into one's life. A level where the individual can at certain times not see their illness as a 'bad' thing merely an attribute of who they are. They have achieved a balance of the treatments, the symptoms, the impact of that illness on the biographies and are moving forward within those parameters to live life to its fullest. This does not equal a trouble free life, it just means the individual has achieved a balance and the really fortunate ones may see like the author in this book states that the illness is something special and has provided them with unique insight and experiences that they can see as benefit. I wonder if this is achieved with completely balanced treatment burden? Or if it is more involved than that? Is this something that an intervention could promote or is it merely the few who pursue individually who can achieve this state?

3) "Some time ago, Doctor Small had told me how much he enjoyed reading in his medical journals stories with people's firsthand descriptions of their health conditions. 'I remember more from these personal accounts than I do from yet another double-blind research study'"

Finally, this year I have learned a lot about qualitative research. I begun this year thinking that it was a bit airy/fairy and not real science. I was being pushed by my faculty and my supervisors to incorporate it into my PhD project, but I was really unsure about it. AS the year progressed and I read more Qualitative studies I began to see the power and value it has. But Working in a clinical environment I'm nervous as to what my colleagues will think. This statement is encouraging as it reinforces what I see my colleagues do all the time. They talk about the double-blind papers, but they don't get 'excited' or 'frustrated' by them; no what you over hear them talking about is the individual's stories and how their treatment is helping them. So if I can find a way to write so that the 'story' collaborates with the 'evidence' then maybe they will begin to see the power in qualitative research too.

So read widely. Follow my supervisors advice and read more than just the relevant papers. As sometimes, unexpectedly you will find a book that helps you and your project and what you think in ways you can't predict.

Roland, David. How I rescued my brain; a psychologist remarkable recovery from stroke and trauma. London: Scribe Publications 2015.

Disclaimer: This blog is my reflection and thoughts and may not represent what the author was trying to say.